The Unwelcome Presence
By Pastor Chuck Swindoll
A Friend Brings Sympathy and Comfort
“Second, friends respond with sympathy and comfort right out of the text. They come to sympathize and to comfort. They forgot their agenda after a while, but that’s why they came. Sympathy includes identifying with the sufferer, doing your best to step into the crucible with the individual and to feel what they’re feeling. Comfort is an attempt to ease the pain, helping in any way you can to make their sorrow a little lighter. Sometimes words like, ‘I love you.’ Or ‘I am so sorry about your loss.’ If you’ve never experienced the same, don’t say I know how you feel because you don’t. But you can say, ‘I can’t imagine the depth of your pain.’ That’s comforting to someone. But I’m here. They come to sympathize and to comfort.”
Show Up for Suffering Friends
“So first thing I would say is that friends care enough to come without being asked. So you’ve got to hand it to them. No one invited them. They came on their own. When you know someone is going through time of suffering, deep suffering, severe time, don’t wait for an invitation. Don’t expect a phone call. Just be there. Just go on your own.”
Wives, Guard Your Words
“Always guard your words when your husband is going through hard times. Just guard your words. When your relationship is what it should be, your words mean more to him than you’ll ever know. I can still repeat words my wife said 40–45 years ago. I can still remember a few things she said, even our first year of marriage. Guard your words when your husband’s going through really hard times. Hard times weaken even the strongest of men, and we lose our objectivity. We’re not as stable, our emotions are running away with our heads, and discernment weakens, discrimination gets thin, and we are vulnerable, and we are fearful, and we have alien thoughts all on our own.”
God’s Plan in Pain and Suffering
“In your journey from earth to heaven, and certainly during your theological training, you will discover that nothing will pain you like suffering. Suffering. Permitted by your loving and caring heavenly Father, designed to bring you to your knees. Not to ruin you, which was Satan’s plan, but to develop you. And the great temptation will be in your moments of doubt, to curse, to complain, and for some simply to walk away. It’s too much.”
Beware the Accusing One
“As you present yourself to the Lord for His will to be made known, standing nearby is an emissary of the evil one who will do everything he can to dislodge you and move you away from this holy and lovely pursuit of your life. He has been doing it for centuries. He knows every weakness. He has made a study of us long before we even knew he existed. And because this is true, we’re able to see the style of his working in the life of one as godly as Job.”
Additional Resources
First, sign up for our Chuck’s Insights on Ministry email where we bring you his best thoughts on preaching, leadership, and ministry each week. By signing up, you’ll instantly receive a one-page checklist with 20 preaching insights from Chuck. See this page’s sidebar.
Second, check out our new Preach The Word articles and video series on YouTube where we’re teaching Chuck’s best insights on this important calling.
Third, listen to Chuck’s messages to those in ministry through our Seminary Chapels page. For decades, he offered students at Dallas Theological Seminary his best thoughts on church leadership and ministry. Now, we have put them at your fingertips. Also, you can find them through this YouTube playlist we created for you.
Fourth, if you don’t own a copy of Chuck’s book on preaching, Saying It Well, we highly recommend you add it to your library. It’s his preaching memoir that is also like a practical preaching manual. You won’t be able to put it down.
About the author
Pastor Chuck Swindoll
Pastor Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God’s Word. He is the founding pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck’s listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs around the world. Chuck’s leadership as president and now chancellor emeritus at Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation of men and women for ministry.