Article Library

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By Pastor Chuck Swindoll

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Consider the Other Viewpoint

“When in disagreement, work hard at seeing both viewpoints, not just your own. And a good passage to refer to while you find yourself in a lingering disagreement is Philippians 2:3 and 4. Look not only at your, we would say today, your own viewpoint, but the viewpoint of another. Do your best in the midst of a disagreement to see the other viewpoint.”

Approach Conflict with Grace

“People who respect us don’t expect us necessarily to turn and agree with them at every point, but they do expect courtesy, and they do deserve that. A sense of grace in dealing with those that are from another point of view. So sometimes a wise compromise is the best way to go, and it is not a mark of weakness, certainly not giving in to your principles. You’re working on the relationship as well as the principle at stake.”

Don’t Sin in Your Anger

“If the conflict persists, care enough to work it through rather than just stomp out. Determine now that you will never slam the phone down on anybody. You will not slam a phone down on anybody. That is an insult to the person you’ve been talking to. Determine, and this is especially helpful in a marriage, that you won’t give the person the silent treatment. Man, we can do that. We may not verbalize it, but we just don’t talk for a day and a half. We eat in silence, and we go to bed side by side but back-to-back. Don’t let the sun go down on that kind of wrath. Maybe you had every reason to be angry, and we’re commanded to be angry, however, not to sin. And for sure, guard against taking shots behind the back of the person you’ve had the disagreement with.”

Agree to Disagree

“If it cannot be resolved, graciously agree to disagree and sometimes even agree to separate. Agree that we cannot work together. Agree that there cannot be an ongoing relationship between you and your co-worker and you say that that’s it. We’ve worked at this long enough to know that we’re not going to resolve it, so we will agree to disagree. If it’s any help for you, just as the second missionary journey became very successful, sometimes a separation is used of God in a magnificent way to spawn another realm of ministry.”

Two Ingredients in Every Disagreement

“In every disagreement there are at least two ingredients. Number one, there is an issue that involves principles. And secondly, there are viewpoints, and the viewpoints involve personalities. Issues related to principles, and that’s where we form our convictions. Hopefully, we leave this school with some very firm and stubborn convictions that nothing will change. We also, however, will maintain a viewpoint about something because of the way we’re put together. My dad used to refer to people’s put together. His put together is different than your put together. So because we have that true among us, there will be disagreements. We see things differently.’”

Additional Resources

First, sign up for our Chuck’s Insights on Ministry email where we bring you his best thoughts on preaching, leadership, and ministry each week. By signing up, you’ll instantly receive a one-page checklist with 20 preaching insights from Chuck. See this page’s sidebar.

Second, check out our new Preach The Word articles and video series on YouTube where we’re teaching Chuck’s best insights on this important calling.

Third, listen to Chuck’s messages to those in ministry through our Seminary Chapels page. For decades, he offered students at Dallas Theological Seminary his best thoughts on church leadership and ministry. Now, we have put them at your fingertips. Also, you can find them through this YouTube playlist we created for you.

Fourth, if you don’t own a copy of Chuck’s book on preaching, Saying It Well, we highly recommend you add it to your library. It’s his preaching memoir that is also like a practical preaching manual. You won’t be able to put it down.

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