Increasing the Priority of Your Family

In this message, Chuck Swindoll issues a stirring call for families to "go home"—not just physically, but to "go home in your heart" by acknowledging the significance and value of the home above other pursuits. Against the backdrop of a culture that has gone on a "national binge" of self-fulfillment at the expense of self-sacrifice, Swindoll argues that it is time to re-establish the home as the primary center of life and character formation. Turning to the ancient wisdom of Psalm 127 and Psalm 128—two of the "Songs of Ascent"—Swindoll offers a "literary mural" of the family. He illustrates that building a home based solely on human effort is futile; unless the Lord is the architect and the guard, parents labor in vain. The message traces the lifecycle of the family: from the couple working to build a foundation, to the rearing of children who are like "arrows" in a warrior's hand, to the peaceful twilight years surrounded by grandchildren. Swindoll concludes with practical application, urging listeners to simplify their lives to cultivate a happy home. He offers four specific commands to help parents realign their priorities: Think Family, Say No, Take Time, and Be Patient.

Message Key Facts:

• The "Songs of Ascent": Psalms 120–134 constitute a "mini hymnbook" within the Psalms. Jewish pilgrims would sing these 15 songs as they ascended the elevation to the temple in Jerusalem three times a year. The center-most song (Psalm 127) focuses on the priority of the family.
• The Futility of Human Effort: Psalm 127 uses the word "vain" three times to emphasize that rising early, retiring late, and eating the "bread of painful labors" is pointless if God is not the builder of the house and the center of the marriage.
• Children as "Arrows": Swindoll explains the metaphor of children as arrows (Psalm 127:4). Like arrows, children are delicate, dangerous if misdirected, and must be carefully aimed by a warrior (the parent) to be released into the world.
• Cultivating the "Olive Shoots": In Psalm 128, the wife is described as a "fruitful vine" and children as "olive plants" (or shoots) around the table. Just as a garden requires cultivation (talking to, nurturing, and tending), a happy home does not just happen; it is the result of deliberate cultivation and time.
• Barbara Bush’s Advice: Swindoll cites former First Lady Barbara Bush’s address to Wellesley College, noting that at the end of life, people do not regret missing a business deal, but rather time not spent with a spouse, child, or friend.
• The Four Priorities: To reclaim the family, Swindoll suggests four practical "two-word one-liners":
  1. Think Family: Filter decisions about moves, jobs, and schools through the lens of family impact.
  2. Say No: Learn to decline committees and extra obligations that steal time from the home.
  3. Take Time: Deliberately spend time together (without television) to nurture relationships.
  4. Be Patient: Cultivating a happy home takes time, just as Rome wasn't built in a day.

Message References:

• Psalm 127:1–2: "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it... It is vain for you to rise up early... for He gives to His beloved even in his sleep".
• Psalm 127:3–5: "Behold, children are a gift of the Lord... Like arrows in the hand of a warrior... How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them".
• Psalm 128:1–2: "How blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in His ways. When you shall eat of the fruit of your hands, you will be happy".
• Psalm 128:3: "Your wife shall be like a fruitful vine within your house, Your children like olive plants around your table".
• Psalm 128:6: "Indeed, may you see your children’s children. Shalom Israel".

Message Speaker:

Pastor Chuck Swindoll