Overview:
Few experiences are more disturbing than being with a child who is out of control. Our tendency may be to blame the child, but more often than not the responsibility rests with the parents. Many parents lack an understanding of the child’s “dark side” and fail to shape the child’s will based on biblical principles. Once understood, it’s amazing what a difference this knowledge of a child’s bent toward foolishness and sin can make. Only when we respond appropriately to a child’s sinfulness will we be able to cultivate greater self-control.
Message Summary:
Message Key Facts:
- The Dog Psychologist Analogy: Swindoll shares an encounter with a Belgian dog psychologist who claimed he rarely met bad dogs, only bad owners. He outlined four essentials for training that apply equally to children: Knowledge, Time, Consistency, and Patience.
- Understanding Depravity: Swindoll defines depravity as the truth that "corruption extends to every part of human nature." This explains why children do not need to be taught to lie or disobey—it comes naturally.
- The "Generation Factor": Using the examples of Jeroboam (whose sins were repeated by subsequent kings) and the lineage of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob (who all struggled with lying), Swindoll illustrates how specific family sins are passed down unless a parent determines to break the chain,.
- Abuse vs. Discipline: Swindoll draws a sharp contrast between the two:
- Abuse is criminal, unfair, degrading, and done out of control.
- Discipline is corrective, fair, upholding of dignity, and done under control.
- Willful Defiance vs. Childish Irresponsibility: Parents are warned not to spank for accidents or immaturity (like spilling milk). Discipline is reserved for defiance (throwing the milk in a parent's face),.
- The Rod: Biblically defined as a "club" or "wooden stick," Swindoll describes it as a neutral implement (not the hand or fist) used to administer a spanking on the backside. It should never be used publicly or in a way that humiliates the child.
- Age Limit: Swindoll advises that spanking should generally stop when a child reaches approximately 12 years old. By the teenage years, discipline methods must adjust as the child begins to entertain adult thoughts.
Message References:
- Exodus 34:5–7: A revelation of God’s character as compassionate and forgiving, yet one who "visits the iniquity of fathers on the children" to the third and fourth generations,.
- Romans 5:12: The theological basis for the sin nature, stating that "through one man sin entered into the world",.
- Proverbs 13:24: The foundational verse for discipline: "He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently",.
- Proverbs 22:15: The diagnosis and cure for childhood rebellion: "Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will remove it far from him".
- Proverbs 15:13 & 17:22: Warnings that a "broken spirit" dries up the bones, reminding parents that the goal is to shape the will, not break the spirit,.
- Proverbs 19:18: The command to "discipline your son while there is hope," emphasizing the need to start early.
