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Marital Grace


By Pastor Chuck Swindoll


So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband. (Ephesians 5:33 NLT)

The more the grace of God is awakened in a marriage, the less husbands will attempt to control and restrict and the less wives will feel the need to “please no matter what.” It makes marriage easier to manage.

Grace releases and affirms. It doesn’t smother.

Grace values the dignity of individuals. It doesn’t destroy.

Grace supports and encourages. It isn’t jealous or suspicious.

I know whereof I speak. For more years than I care to remember, I was consumed with jealousy. I was so insecure and fearful it wasn’t uncommon for me to drill Cynthia with questions—petty, probing questions that were little more than veiled accusations. It is amazing she endured it. Finally, we had one of those famous showdown confrontations every married couple has had. No need to repeat it, but she made it painfully clear that I was smothering her; I was imagining things she never even thought of doing . . . and it had to stop. Her words hurt, but she did the right thing. I took her seriously.

I went to work on this ugly side of my life. I confessed my jealousy to Cynthia. I assured her I would never again treat her with such a lack of trust. I asked God for grace to help, for relief from the destructive habit I had formed, for the ability to love and give myself to this woman without all the choking conditions. I distinctly recall how much an understanding of grace helped. It was as if grace were finally “awake” in my life, and I could appropriate its power for the first time. It seemed to free me, first in small ways, and finally in major areas. I can honestly say today that I do not entertain a single jealous thought. Grace literally wiped the slate clean.


Taken from The Grace Awakening Devotional by Charles R. Swindoll. Copyright © 2003 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. Published by Thomas Nelson, Inc., Nashville, Tennessee. All rights reserved worldwide. Used by permission.

About the author

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Pastor Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God’s Word. He is the founding pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck’s listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs around the world. Chuck’s leadership as president and now chancellor emeritus at Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation of men and women for ministry.

More articles by Pastor Chuck Swindoll

From Promise to Presence

Everlasting Light: A Journey from Promise to Presence

From December 1 to 25, let the advent devotional Everlasting Light move you into a spirit of waiting, reflection, and preparation for Christ’s arrival.

Written by our Spanish pastor Carlos Zazueta (and also available in Spanish), this book includes quotes from Pastor Chuck to recenter your heart each day.

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I am an intern Bible school student now, and I've been reading the book Improving Your Serve. I considered the book as God's resource for me to learn that there are struggles and pain in serving Him, from rejection and from other people's criticism. As a young lady who wants to serve God, the book added to my courage knowing that God holds my victory. —V. C. from The Philippines

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