Dealing with Disrespect and Resentment

All of us pastors remember a man named Naaman, the high-ranking Syrian soldier. He was influential, wealthy, proud—a man of dignity, courage, patriotism, and military clout.

There was only one problem: the man had leprosy. Through a chain of interesting events, Naaman was led to Elisha for cleansing from his dread disease (2 Kings 5:1–14).

But instead of greeting Naaman, Elisha sent his servant to tell Naaman to wash himself in the Jordan and he would be cleansed. Naaman felt snubbed, and he became enraged at Elisha.

Who was caught in the crossfire—the servant! The dear guy didn’t generate the news, he just communicated it . . . and boom! The result? Feeling and hearing the verbal blows of disrespect and resentment. You probably know where I’m going with this.

There are times when God’s servant is called upon to confront or in some way tell another person the truth that the individual does not want to hear. (One of the tough responsibilities of the pastorate.)

The information may be painful to accept, but it is what God wants said. The faithful servant gave Naaman the message graciously yet accurately. And all of a sudden, the lid blew sky high. He was caught in the crossfire.

What do you do in such precarious moments? Fight back? Yell and scream and threaten in return? Search for a quiet pastorate way out in the country?

Listen to God’s counsel to servants whose job it is to say hard things:

The Lord’s bond-servant must not be quarrelsome, but be kind to all, skillful in teaching, patient when wronged, with gentleness correcting those who are in opposition, if perhaps God may grant them repentance leading to the knowledge of the truth, and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will. (2 Timothy 2:24–26 NASB)

What wise counsel! Not quarrelsome, but kind. Not irritated, but patient . . . even when wronged. Not angry, but gentle.

God may be using your words to help the hearers “come to their senses,” which may sound very noble. But, believe me, there are times it’s not a lot to write home about.

Hang tough. Stand firm. Never compromise.

But remember how Paul said to communicate truth: be kind . . . be patient . . . with gentleness.

Copyright © 2025 by Insight for Living and Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. All rights are reserved worldwide.

About the author

CharlesS

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

Pastor Charles R. Swindoll has devoted his life to the accurate, practical teaching and application of God’s Word. He is the founding pastor of Stonebriar Community Church in Frisco, Texas, but Chuck’s listening audience extends far beyond a local church body. As a leading program in Christian broadcasting since 1979, Insight for Living airs around the world. Chuck’s leadership as president and now chancellor emeritus at Dallas Theological Seminary has helped prepare and equip a new generation of men and women for ministry.

More articles by Pastor Chuck Swindoll