Overview:
Newborn babies are not soft pieces of clay ready to be shaped and molded into what parents think they should be. Rather, a baby arrives bearing divinely ordained “bents.” The parents’ primary task is to find out how each child has been made, and in that process, to shape the training of the child so that it is in keeping with the child’s unique personality. Yet parents must remember that there is an evil tendency in every child that prompts him or her to disobey, resist authority, and rebel. On the other hand, there is a bright side in every life, where positive tendencies and capabilities emerge.
Message Summary:
In this message, Chuck Swindoll moves from the humorous reality of parenting struggles—illustrated by a chaotic flight with unruly twins—to the profound theology of how God designs every human being. Acknowledging that most parents shift from feeling like experts to “fellow strugglers” seeking wisdom, Swindoll anchors his teaching in Psalm 139 and the Proverbs to explain the dual nature of every child,,.
Swindoll argues that effective parenting requires understanding two fundamental truths. First, children are born with an “old nature”—a natural bent toward selfishness and rebellion that requires the “rod and reproof” (discipline and instruction) to correct,. Second, and equally important, God has uniquely “woven” every child in the womb, pre-determining their frame, personality, and “ways” (Hebrew derek),.
The sermon challenges parents to become students of their children—observing them to discover their unique design rather than comparing them to siblings,. Swindoll concludes with a practical framework for meeting an adult’s three core cravings: the memory of love, a sense of control, and the security of self-respect. By determining to know their child’s uniqueness, disciplining their will, and affirming their value, parents can help their children gain self-awareness, self-control, and self-respect,.
Message Key Facts:
- The Humility of Parenting: Swindoll shares the progression of author Charlie Shedd, whose seminar titles evolved from “How to Raise Your Children” to “Some Suggestions to Parents,” and finally, “Anyone Here Got a Few Words of Wisdom?” This illustrates that experience often brings humility rather than easy answers,.
- The “Old Nature”: Contrary to the idea of children as innocent blank slates, Swindoll cites the Minnesota Crime Commission and scripture to assert that every baby starts as a “little savage” with a nature “bound up” in foolishness and rebellion,.
- The Dentist Illustration: Swindoll retells Dr. James Dobson’s story of “Robert,” a defiant boy who threatened to undress if forced into the dentist’s chair. The dentist called his bluff, resulting in the boy sitting naked for the procedure—a lesson on the necessity of firm boundaries to curb a strong will,.
- God’s Intimate Design (Psalm 139):
- “Scrutinize”: God “winnows” or sifts through our paths, studying us intimately.
- “Inward Parts”: God formed our vital organs (literally “kidneys” in Hebrew), overseeing our emotional and physical makeup in the womb.
- “Frame”: God determined our skeletal structure (height and size), meaning a child’s physical attributes are divinely appointed, not accidental.
- Definition of “Way” (Derek): Referring to Proverbs, Swindoll explains that God knows all our “ways” (derek). This word refers to the unique mannerisms, characteristics, and bends of a person, just as an eagle has a unique way of flying compared to other birds.
- Three Core Parental Tasks:
- Determination to know uniqueness: Leads to the child gaining Self-Awareness.
- Discipline to curb the will: Leads to the child gaining Self-Control.
- Discernment to affirm value: Leads to the child gaining Self-Respect.
Message References:
- Psalm 139:1–3: God’s intimate knowledge of our thoughts and His “scrutiny” of our paths,.
- Psalm 139:13–16: The description of God weaving the child in the womb, forming the “inward parts” and “frame” in secret,,.
- Proverbs 22:6: The command to train a child according to his specific “way” or bent,.
- Proverbs 20:11: The observation that a child “makes himself known” by his deeds, urging parents to observe their children.
- Proverbs 29:15: The necessity of both “rod and reproof” (discipline and instruction) to prevent a child from bringing shame to the parent,.
- Proverbs 22:15: The diagnosis that “foolishness” (a drive toward evil behavior) is bound up in the heart of a child.
- Psalm 51:5 & Psalm 58:3: David’s admission of being “brought forth in iniquity” and the wicked being estranged from the womb,.
- Isaiah 48:8: The description of humanity as being “called a rebel from birth”.
