Overview:
The idyllic marital bliss of Adam and Eve was split in two when sin wedged itself between them. Everything changed, between this couple and every other couple in history. Divorces are epidemic, and though the causes are myriad, at their root is sin. One partner’s sin may be overt, but the failure that results in a broken marriage is invariably a two-way journey traveled by two guilty sinners. But once the divorce is finalized, the question often arises: “Is remarriage always permissible . . . never permissible . . . sometimes permissible?” What does Scripture say?
Message Summary:
In this sensitive and biblically grounded message, Chuck Swindoll addresses one of the most challenging questions in the Christian life: “When is remarriage acceptable in God’s sight?”. Acknowledging that marriage is not an “endless ecstasy” but often a “wild frontier” requiring immense work, Swindoll moves beyond the tragedy of divorce to offer hope and clarity for those facing the prospect of a new beginning.
After years of study and prayer, Swindoll presents three specific biblical situations where God permits remarriage: unrepentant immorality, desertion by an unbeliever, and marital failure prior to salvation. He carefully unpacks the “exception clause” in Matthew 19 and Paul’s counsel in 1 Corinthians 7, emphasizing that while God hates divorce, He provides grace and freedom for the innocent party when the marriage bond has been shattered by sin or abandonment.
Swindoll also offers practical counsel to four distinct groups: urging the unmarried to be patient, the married to be content, the “miserable” (those with the right to remarry) to be careful, and the remarried to be grateful. The message concludes with a reminder that God is a God of new beginnings, capable of blessing a second marriage just as He forgives a past life.
Message Key Facts:
- Three Biblical Grounds for Remarriage: Swindoll identifies three scriptural grounds for remarriage:
- Unrepentant Immoral Partner: Based on Matthew 19:9, where porneia (immorality) breaks the bond. Swindoll interprets this not as a one-time failure, but a lifestyle of unrepentant sexual sin that hardens the heart.
- Desertion by an Unbeliever: Based on 1 Corinthians 7:15. If an unbelieving spouse departs permanently, the believer is “not under bondage,” meaning the marriage bond is broken, and they are free to remarry.
- Marital Failure Prior to Salvation: Based on 2 Corinthians 5:17. Swindoll teaches that because a new convert is a “new creature” and old things have passed away, pre-conversion sins—including a failed marriage—are forgiven, allowing for a fresh start,,.
- The Meaning of “Not Under Bondage”: Swindoll explains that the phrase in 1 Corinthians 7:15 refers to the permanent bond of marriage. When an unbeliever deserts the marriage, that bond is severed, and the believer is free to pursue peace and potentially remarriage.
- The “Mallard Duck” Allegory: Swindoll uses the illustration of ducks mating for life by instinct to contrast with humans. While nature follows instinct, humans have the free will to violate their vows, making marriage a “risk” that requires constant effort to protect against “predators” like neglect and temptation.
- The “New Creation” Concept: Swindoll argues that if divorce is a sin, it is covered by the blood of Christ like any other. Therefore, a person who divorced before being saved is a “new creation” (kainos—new in quality/form) and is not held to the failures of their old life.
- Leadership Restrictions: While affirming the right to remarry in these specific cases, Swindoll maintains a conservative view on church leadership, stating that according to 1 Timothy 3, the office of elder or pastor should be held by a “one-woman man,” which he interprets as restricting divorced individuals from these specific roles.
- Counsel to the “Miserable”: For those who have biblical grounds to remarry, Swindoll warns them to be “careful.” They are the “most vulnerable duck in the pond” and susceptible to falling for the first available person due to loneliness.
Message References:
- Matthew 19:3–9: Jesus’ teaching on divorce and the “exception clause” regarding immorality (porneia),.
- 1 Corinthians 7:1–16: Paul’s instructions to the married, unmarried, and the “rest” (those unequally yoked), detailing the believer’s freedom if an unbeliever departs.
- 2 Corinthians 5:16–17: The promise that if anyone is in Christ, they are a “new creature,” and old things have passed away.
- 1 Corinthians 7:39–40: The instruction that death dissolves the marriage bond, freeing the widow to marry “only in the Lord”.
- James 3:9–10: A warning about the tongue, which Swindoll applies to how spouses bless God but curse the partner made in His image.
- 1 Timothy 3:2: Referenced regarding the qualification for overseers to be “the husband of one wife”.
