Getting Back on Target

In this pivotal message from the series on the home and family, Chuck Swindoll addresses the universal struggle for intimacy in a fallen world. He begins by revisiting the “Original Design” of marriage—the bullseye of God’s target for the domestic union. Chuck argues that while we all desire the “oneness” and transparency of Eden, our lives are often characterized by a “missed target.” Drawing from the tragic shift between Genesis 2 and Genesis 3, Chuck explores how the entrance of sin didn’t just break our relationship with God, but shattered our ability to be truly “real” with one another. This study serves as a spiritual anchor, moving the believer away from the “fig leaves” of psychological defense and toward a “Resident Dynamic” of the Spirit that enables us to stop blaming and start reconciling.

The core of the teaching focuses on the anatomy of a broken relationship and the specific steps required to “get back on target.” Chuck observes that the natural human response to failure is to hide and to deflect. By examining Adam and Eve’s behavior in the aftermath of the Fall, Chuck reveals the “Blame Game”—a destructive pattern where we hold everyone else responsible for our own misery. The goal of this message is to stabilize the family unit by encouraging a “stop-the-running” policy. Chuck asserts that we cannot get back on target until we are willing to stand before God “just as we are,” trading our excuses for His enabling grace.

Message Key Facts:

• The Target of Transparency: Chuck highlights the beautiful, pre-fall state described in Genesis 2:25: “The man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” He explains that this was not merely about physical nudity, but about total emotional and spiritual transparency. In the original design, there were no secrets, no masks, and no “rattling tests” of trust. He defines the “target” of marriage as this deep, uninhibited oneness where two people are fully known and fully loved.
• The FIG Leaf Philosophy: A major highlight is Chuck’s analysis of the first “defense mechanism.” When sin entered, Adam and Eve immediately realized their nakedness and “sewed fig leaves together” to cover themselves. Chuck applies this to the modern family, noting that we all have our own versions of “fig leaves”—silence, busyness, humor, or even religious activity—which we use to hide our true selves from our spouses and from God. He warns that as long as we are hiding, we are “off target.”
• The Sound of the Lord Walking: Chuck describes the “shock and awe” of Genesis 3:8, where the couple hears the sound of God walking in the garden and they hide among the trees. He notes the irony: they hid from the very One who loved them most. Chuck suggests that many families today are living “among the trees,” avoiding the “Resident Dynamic” of God’s presence because they fear the conviction that leads to change.
• The Anatomy of the Blame Game: Chuck explores the “shameful” dialogue between God and Adam. When confronted with his sin, Adam didn’t just blame Eve; he blamed God: “The woman whom You gave to be with me…” Chuck identifies this as the root of marital erosion—the refusal to take personal responsibility. He argues that we must “turn the corner” and realize that we are the ones who have eaten the fruit; we cannot blame our background, our spouse, or our circumstances for our own choices.
• The Seeking Savior: In a powerful theological highlight, Chuck points out that it was God who went seeking Adam, not the other way around. He emphasizes that the “Harbor Pilot” of our souls does not come to the garden to condemn us, but to restore us. This “Resident Dynamic” of seeking grace is what gives us the courage to step out from behind the trees and admit, “I’m the one who messed up.”
• The “Stop Blaming” Policy: The sermon concludes with a call to action. Chuck encourages the listener to “quit it”—to stop the habits of blame and the patterns of hiding. He argues that it is never too late to start doing what is right. By returning to the Cross and acknowledging that we are “sinners in need of a Savior,” we find a power we don’t have in ourselves to rebuild the intimacy that was lost.

Message References:

• Genesis 2:21–25: The foundational text for the “Original Target.” Chuck walks through the creation of woman, the institution of marriage, and the “naked and unashamed” state of total intimacy.
• Genesis 3:1–13: The narrative of the Fall. Chuck focuses on the entrance of sin, the immediate impulse to hide, the “fig leaf” coverings, and the subsequent “Blame Game” that Adam and Eve played with God.
• Proverbs 28:13: The wisdom regarding confession: “He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will find compassion.” Chuck uses this to support the “Get Back on Target” strategy.
• Romans 5:12: A reference to the entrance of sin into the world. Chuck uses this to show that the “missed target” is a universal human problem that requires a divine solution.
• 1 John 1:9: The promise for those who are tired of hiding: “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”
• Psalm 139:23–24: The “Search Me” prayer. Chuck encourages couples to invite the Spirit to “search” their hearts and reveal the “trees” they are hiding behind.
• Ephesians 4:22–24: The instruction to “lay aside the old self” and be “renewed in the spirit of your mind.” Chuck links this to the “Resident Dynamic” of change required for a healthy family.

Message Speaker:

Pastor Chuck Swindoll