Getting Through the Tough Stuff of Divorce

In this compassionate and balanced message, Chuck Swindoll tackles the painful and complex subject of divorce, navigating between cultural permissiveness and rigid legalism. Swindoll begins by acknowledging that everyone has an opinion on divorce, often formed by personal pain, upbringing, or cultural trends rather than a deep study of Scripture,,. He contrasts modern views—which range from "open marriage" to "divorce for self-fulfillment"—with the biblical perspective found in the teachings of Moses, Jesus, and Paul. Using Mark 10 and Matthew 19, Swindoll explains Jesus' confrontation with the Pharisees, who tested Him regarding the grounds for divorce. Jesus affirmed the permanent nature of marriage from Creation but acknowledged that divorce was permitted (not commanded) by Moses due to "hardness of heart",. Swindoll highlights the "exception clause" found in Matthew, where Jesus permits divorce in cases of porneia (immorality), and Paul’s teaching in 1 Corinthians 7 regarding abandonment by an unbeliever. Crucially, Swindoll argues for the application of "common sense" in situations not explicitly detailed in Scripture, such as physical abuse, torture, or danger to children,. He asserts that God does not intend for spouses or children to remain in life-threatening environments. The message concludes with a call to drop self-righteous judgment and extend grace, reminding believers that for those in Christ, "old things have passed away," covering even the tragedy of a broken marriage.

Message Key Facts:

• The Definition of Opinion: Swindoll defines an opinion as a "belief or idea held with confidence but not substantiated by direct proof or knowledge," noting that most views on divorce are based on experience rather than Scripture.
• Shammai vs. Hillel: In Jesus' day, there were two schools of thought. The Shammai school was strict, allowing divorce only for adultery. The Hillel school was loose, allowing divorce for trivial reasons, such as spoiling a meal, being a "brawling woman," or the husband finding someone more beautiful.
• The Meaning of Porneia: In the "exception clause" of Matthew 19 ("except for immorality"), the Greek word used is porneia. Swindoll explains this refers to "illicit sexual activity" and is broad enough to include adultery, homosexuality, bestiality, and incest.
• Permitted, Not Commanded: Swindoll emphasizes that even in cases of infidelity, divorce is a concession, not a command. The goal is always reconciliation if possible, as infidelity is not an unforgivable sin.
• The "Common Sense" Principle: Swindoll addresses silence in Scripture regarding spousal abuse or child endangerment. He argues one must use common sense, stating that if a spouse is dangerous (using extreme examples like Jeffrey Dahmer or Charles Manson), there is no justification for staying. He urges believers to think and prioritize safety over legalism.
• The "New Creature" Reality: Citing 2 Corinthians 5:17, Swindoll reassures those with failed marriages that salvation washes away the past. He argues that it is theologically inconsistent to believe Christ's death atones for all sins except a failed marriage.

Message References:

• Mark 10:1–12: The primary text where Jesus is tested by Pharisees regarding the lawfulness of divorce.
• Matthew 19:3–9: The parallel passage containing the "exception clause," permitting divorce in cases of immorality (porneia).
• Deuteronomy 24:1–4: The Mosaic law permitting a certificate of divorce if "indecency" was found in the wife.
• Genesis 1:27 & 2:24: Jesus’ reference to the original design of creation, where husband and wife become "one flesh".
• 1 Corinthians 7:12–15: Paul’s teaching that if an unbelieving spouse departs (abandonment), the believing brother or sister is "not under bondage" and is free.
• 2 Corinthians 5:17: The promise that if anyone is in Christ, they are a "new creature," implying past failures, including divorce, are forgiven.
• John 8:1–11: The account of the woman caught in adultery, used by Swindoll to illustrate that Jesus chose grace over condemnation.

Message Speaker:

Pastor Chuck Swindoll