A Marriage Project
All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will grant you his blessing. (1 Peter 3:8–9)
During the next week I’d like you to work on a very practical project. It will involve doing two things. First, write down four qualities you appreciate most about your mate. After thinking them through, tell your spouse what they are and why they come to mind. Give examples. Take your time. Spell them out. Genuinely affirm your partner. Second, using 1 Peter 3 as your guide, admit the one thing you would most like to change about yourself. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. Your mate will appreciate your willingness to be transparent.
Now don’t get those two reversed. Don’t mention four things you want your partner to change and the one thing you like most about yourself!
Talk truth. Refuse to blame. Guard against this becoming an evening of confrontation. Make it an evening of getting back together. Go ahead . . . be willing to risk.
You may be amazed to discover how quickly new hope for your marriage can return. The secret isn’t that profound. A good marriage isn’t so much finding the right partner as it is being the right partner.
And that starts with you.
A Prayer for Hope Beyond “I Do”
Lord, marriage was Your original idea. You hold the patent on this one. You brought the first couple together and gave Adam and Eve wise instruction on how to make their marriage flourish. I believe you are still bringing men and women together . . . all around this big world. But today I pray specifically for those who read this. For some, their hopes are dim. They don’t know where to start or how to rekindle the flame that once burned brightly. For others, starting over seems too great a hurdle . . . too huge a mountain to climb . . . too much to face.
Somehow, Lord, break down the barriers. Bring back the “want to.” Restore a glimmer of hope, especially in the lives of that one couple who think they will never make it. May Your Spirit miraculously renew through hope at this moment. I ask this in the name of Christ, in whom nothing is impossible. Amen.
Taken from Hope Again by Charles R. Swindoll. Copyright © 1996 by Charles R. Swindoll, Inc. Used by permission of HarperCollins Christian Publishing. www.harpercollinschristian.com
