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  1. Home  » 
  2. Love and Hate: Where Are You?

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Love and Hate: Where Are You?

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Overview:

1 John 3:11–18

Stop and read these eight verses. Let the words say what they actually say—don’t sugarcoat them or try to explain away their blunt, abrupt message. Talk about straight talk! If you allow the impact of this single paragraph to unload its full weight on you, it will make you groan and squirm. You may even lose some sleep. To put it in one brief sentence, John was saying: lack of love is murderous. It is not simply unfortunate or unpleasant; it is not just disappointing and regrettable. There’s no middle ground; it’s either love or hate. And if you opt for hate instead of love, you are a murderer. Does that shock you? Seem too strong? Look, it’s right there in 1 John 3:15. Today, we’ll look at the age-old tragic account of Cain and Abel, the first offspring of the very first couple, Adam and Eve. The mixture of hate and jealousy that resulted in a terrible crime stands as a strong contrast to love—certainly to the kind of self-sacrificial love demonstrated by the One who laid down His life for us.

Message Summary:

In this message centering on 1 John 3:11–18, Chuck Swindoll confronts the superficiality of spoken love by contrasting the murderous heart of Cain with the sacrificial heart of Christ. He opens with a whimsical nursery rhyme about a cat in London to establish a profound behavioral principle: "What you are determines what you see, and what you see determines what you do" [6–7]. Swindoll argues that just as a cat chases mice because it has a mouse-eating heart, Cain murdered his brother because he was "of the evil one," while a true Christian loves others because they have passed from death to life. Swindoll takes the listener back to Genesis 4 to examine the first murder in history. He depicts Cain not as a victim of circumstance, but as a man consumed by envy and resentment because his brother Abel’s deeds were righteous. Swindoll highlights God’s warning to Cain that "sin is crouching at the door," likening it to a jaguar ready to pounce [10–11, 15]. The sermon explains that the world hates believers for the same reason Cain hated Abel: righteousness exposes evil. Swindoll urges the congregation not to be surprised by this hostility but to counter it with active compassion [18–20]. The message concludes by moving from the plural to the singular. Noting that loving "the world" is often an excuse for loving no one in particular, Swindoll challenges the listener to identify one specific person with a need and do something unexpected to meet it. He closes with a moving story by Frederick Buechner about a friend who drove 800 miles simply to sit with him during a crisis, illustrating what it means to love "in deed and truth" rather than just in word [24, 28–30].

Message Key Facts:

  • The "Pussycat" Principle: Swindoll uses the rhyme "Pussycat, Pussycat, where have you been?" to illustrate that internal character drives perception and action. The cat ignored the Queen and the sights of London to chase a mouse because that is its nature. Similarly, a believer loves because they have a new nature [5–7].
  • The Meaning of "Slay": Swindoll notes that the Greek word used for Cain killing Abel is sfazo, which literally means "to butcher" or "to slit the throat." It implies a violent, graphic act of slaughter, not a sterilized death.
  • The Jaguar at the Door: Referencing Genesis 4:7, Swindoll uses a National Geographic description of a jaguar to illustrate God’s warning to Cain. Sin was "crouching" at the door—silent, deadly, and ready to master him if he did not master it [15–16].
  • The Cause of Hate: Cain did not kill Abel because Abel was wicked, but because Abel was righteous. Swindoll explains that the world hates Christians because a righteous life shines a light on the world’s evil deeds, provoking the same resentment Cain felt.
  • Love as Evidence: Swindoll asserts that love is not just a virtue; it is the identifying mark of salvation. "We know that we have passed out of death into life because we love the Brethren." Conversely, a habitual lifestyle of hate indicates one abides in death.
  • From Plural to Singular: Swindoll points out a grammatical shift in verse 17. While the command to lay down lives is plural ("brethren"), the practical application is singular ("sees his brother in need"). Swindoll argues that we cannot love the "masses" without loving the specific individual standing in front of us [23–24].
  • The 800-Mile Visit: Swindoll retells a story from Frederick Buechner’s Secrets in the Dark. A friend named Lou drove from North Carolina to Vermont—800 miles—without announcing his visit, just to sit, smoke pipes, and walk in the woods with Buechner while his daughter was sick. This illustrates loving "in deed and truth" [28–29].
  • The One-Week Project: Swindoll assigns "homework": Focus on one person, ask God to reveal one need they have, and do something unexpected to meet that need during the week [26–27].

Message References:

  • 1 John 3:11–18: The primary text contrasting Cain’s hatred with Christ’s sacrificial love and the command to love in deed and truth.
  • Genesis 4:1–8: The narrative of Cain and Abel, the rejected offering, and the first murder [11–12].
  • John 13:34: "A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another," referenced as the message heard "from the beginning".
  • Jude 11: Referenced regarding "the way of Cain".
  • Isaiah 40:4–5: Quoted in the introduction regarding the prophecy of the valley being exalted and the glory of the Lord filling the earth.

Message Speaker:

Pastor Chuck Swindoll

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I am an intern Bible school student now, and I've been reading the book Improving Your Serve. I considered the book as God's resource for me to learn that there are struggles and pain in serving Him, from rejection and from other people's criticism. As a young lady who wants to serve God, the book added to my courage knowing that God holds my victory. —V. C. from The Philippines

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